Don't add to the pressure of your children going "Back to School"

September 10, 2004 -- With research by Cambridge University showing that exam stress among children has risen by 50% over the last 12 months to an all-time high, and that boys in particular can become very stressed if made to do homework or prepare for exams with their parents, the end of the summer holidays can be a stressful time for many children.

If your children don't enjoy school, or if they're facing the prospect of moving to a new or more grown-up school, this will simply heighten their apprehension. But as a parent, you can help tremendously with minimising these pressures:

•    It's difficult, but try to strike the right balance between encouraging your children to do their best, while avoiding adding to their pressures.
•    Be aware of the signs and symptoms of stress in your children. These can include short-term behavioural changes such as different eating patterns; tiredness or lethargy; mood swings; changes in sleeping patterns; difficulty concentrating; abnormal behaviour; and physical effects such as stomach aches and headaches.
•    However busy your life, make sure you regularly create times of peace and tranquillity for your family. These will help your children feel safe, loved and cared for. This doesn't mean just sitting with your children in front of the TV. You need to make special time for talking and listening, as this is invaluable in helping to form a strong bond with your children.
•    Be attentive. Stop what you're doing when your children speak to you. This will help them feel supported and confident they can confide in you if they're experiencing a problem.
•    When talking to your children, don't ask ‘open' questions such as ‘how was school today' as all you'll receive will be one-word answers. Ask specific questions and you'll gain much more – especially if these are linked to actively listening to your children about their concerns and interests.
•    Make sure your children understand there are more ways to succeed in life than through academic achievement, and encourage them to develop their other skills and positive personality traits.
•    Help your children to think of experiences that may make them feel uncomfortable – such as going back to school – as a challenge rather than a threat.
•    Remember that if you're stressed by the prospect of your children returning to school, so will they be - and vice versa!




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